


Entirety of my Life

by Willowlark



Series: Golden Dear [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Shipping, paired ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2020-08-23 06:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20238319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowlark/pseuds/Willowlark
Summary: Post Golden Deer Ending: Claude left Fodlan three years ago, telling no one what he was looking for. He returns on a rainy evening, not to house Riegan but to house Ordelia... A short detailing Claude and Lysithea's paired ending.





	1. Chapter 1

The messenger closes the door to the audience chamber and Lysithea sighs. Her parents deserve the trip to Gloucester territory as a vacation of sorts, but damned if she wants to be Lord of the land while they're gone. She had hoped no one would come, after all it's the rainy season and who wants to be outside in that. That hope was just dashed by the aforementioned messenger, telling her another Alliance Lord had just arrived and was making his way here.

Nor would he wait, apparently. Lysithea looks down at her apparel, merely a gown and none of the regalia her position should have. She'd doll up, if only to save face for her parents, but apparently the Lord in question had no intention of waiting. If he wants a favor, this is surely not how he was going to get it, Lysithea pouts. Still, she settles into the Ordelian throne and watches the massive doors open.

"Announcing, Master Tactician, Lord of Unification, Hero of the Alliance, Lord Claude von Riegan" the doorman says, but Lysithea was on her feet after just hearing Master Tactician.

"Claude!" She shouts across the sizable room. The older man is drenched and dressed in his old "Barbarossa" uniform from the war against the Empire. The logical part of her mind tells her he must have flown here on his white wyvern. "Where the hell have you been, it's been 3 years! You can't up and leave like that, you have responsibilities!"

Claude laughs, swiping his wet hair back into a more recognizable style. "To think, I was the house leader! You sound far more up to the task, even if you're a little young for the job!"

"You disappear for three years and you come back cracking jokes about my age? I'll have you know my talents for magic haven't waned in your absence." She says, now mere feet from the Golden Deer leader. She crosses her arms and huffs.

"Forgive me, forgive me. If anyone found out I made such a blunder and got blasted for it, I'd have to relinquish my title of Master Tactician!" Claude says, winking in that way he always does. Lysithea sighs. The familiar gesture is enough for her momentary indignation to subside. She's not a child anymore, after all.

"What…. Where did you go? The last time anyone saw you was… well…" Lysithea says, unable to meet his eyes. She hadn't forgotten that time, not for a single night in the last three years.

"The time where I asked you to marry me, and you told me you wouldn't subject me to being a widower before I'm thirty?" Claude says, far too jovially for the content. Lysithea winces.

"Y… Yes. I was worried. I thought…"

"You were the reason I left?" Lysithea nods, her eyes analyzing Claude's boots for scuff marks.

"Well, you were." He says matter o factly. Lysithea's heart bottoms out. She had thought… had known it was the right response at the time but-

"You said you wouldn't marry me, because I'd be a widower before I'm thirty. All I had to do was find a way to remove the 'because'." Claude says, cutting off Lysithea's downward spiral of thought.

She finally looks up at him, and the grin on his face is one she'd only seen a handful of time. The smile he wore given a toast to the Deer after defeating the Empire, the smile at Ignatz and Marianne's wedding, the smile bright as the gold in house Riegan's crest.

"I found a way." He says softly. Lysithea feels her mouth droop (childish!) but can't must the correct muscles to close it. The muscles she can control are her fist, clenching slightly.

"You wouldn't joke about this Claude? I… do adore you love of humor, but… This is something even I gave up on." She says. Water comes to the corner of her eyes.

"Never Lysithea. I flew far and wide for this. Hanneman reviewed what I found, as did Teach. They confirmed it, we simply need to get to Garreg Mach." Claude says, placing a hand on Lysithea's shoulder. She tried to form words in response, but instead flew into Claude's chest, hugging him as she sobbed into his wet tunic. He quickly wrapped his arms around her in return. He doesn't rush her, which she appreciates in the back of her mind, and she eventually pulls back to look at him.

"It was very hard to not want to lift you up right there." Claude says, motioning like how one would lift a baby. Lysithea chuckles and scoffs at the same time, rubbing errant tears from her eyes.

"You fool Lord." He smirks and takes her hand.

"Come, together we ride!" He says, pulling her out of the chamber. Lysithea hesitates for only half a moment before letting herself be pulled along. Her family would surely understand. Ever since their days in the Officer's Academy, all of the Golden Deer would drop anything at Claude's call. Surely they'd understand.

"You're old enough to ride sidesaddle on a Wyvern right?" Claude jabs. He gets a smack to the back of the head in response.

* * *

"…" Lysithea puts the papers down, sitting in a large chair across from Professor Hanneman's desk in Garreg Mach monastery. Hanneman sits at his own desk, waiting for her comment while Claude leans against the wall behind her. Byleth stands in the doorway, silent as ever.

"Well?" Claude asks. "Teach and Hanneman gave their approval, and it certainly sounds right to me. But you are the best mage in Fodlan. If anyone could find a hole in it…" Claude sounds nervous.

"I'd say Professor Hanneman would have better luck than me, as the foremost crest researcher of the Church…" Lysithea says absently. "But I appreciate the chance to review myself. I… can't find issue with this. It's certainly more in the Professor's area of expertise anyway." She looks to her old house professor, who nods.

If Sothis's tomb really does have the ability to pull the crest's power from me… I'd be damned if I didn't try it." Lysithea says. Claude sighs in relief behind her.

"That said, Lady Ordelia…" Hanneman coughs as Lysithea glares at him. "Lysithea… There is one risk I believe may exist. A side effect, if you will. My research has always led me to believe magical aptitude and crest density in the blood is linked. If this ritual works… It may strip you of all, your magical ability."

Lysithea looks to Claude, seeing him look away. It seems Hanneman told him already. Byleth is expressionless. Lysithea however, smiles.

"That's no concern of mine." She says lightly. Hanneman's face is swept with confusion. Claude steps up next to her, crouching next to the chair.

"Lysithea, are you… sure? There could be other-" he starts.

"Absolutely Claude. Don't coddle me." She says, tilting her head slightly to give the Deer Leader a lopsided smile. He lightly smiles, the rest of the exchange going between them in just their expressions.

"Magic was always my talent and passion because I wanted to bring peace to Fodlan before I passed. I'll always love it, but it was a means to an end when I realized I had so little time to make a difference. I've made that difference. As it is now… I'd like to enjoy that peace we fought for." She says into Claude's eyes, more than anything else. Behind him, she can see Byleth give the small nod she know means the professor approves. Claude places his hand on hers and nods at her as well.

"We can begin the preparations then. Byleth, if you would? Hanneman says, motioning papers at his collegue. Claude and Lysithea follow as the group makes it's way out of the office.

* * *

Claude watches as Lysithea sits down in the throne that once belonged to the progenitor god herself, Sothis. Byleth long ago told him about Sothis, the both wise and wisecracking voice that once resided in his mind. Claude wasn't worried Sothis boobytrapped her throne, or any such nonsense… But he was worried it wouldn't work. He turns to his professor, and more than his long time friend and confidant.

"Teach… I have odds for… well, pretty much everything I do. If they aren't good enough, I skew them. You know that more than well enough." His teacher smirks at him knowingly. "But this… I had the scrape by to get even these pitiful odds. If this doesn't help Lysithea… what will?"

"…"

"I know it's pessimistic, to expect the worst… But that's how you cover you bases, in a gamble. Expect the worst and be surprised by the exceed expectations." Claude stares at the fist he clenched at some point.

"I want to help Lysithea. More than… Well, more than I wanted to unity Fodlan." Claude turns to Byleth, looking straight into the professor's eyes, his own burning with a passion Byleth hadn't seen since they were both far younger.

"You will Claude. I believe this will work." Byleth says, patting the Lord on the shoulder.

"… I've done my part Teach. The rest is up to you." Claude says, patting Byleth's shoulder in return. The long time allies nod at each other and Byleth climbs the steps to the throne. He places his hands over Lysithea's which rest on the arms of the chair, palms flat against the green hued stone. Byleth nods to Hanneman once, then he and Lysithea share a glance. Byleth begins to chant a spell, longer than any Claude had ever heard and the throne begins to shine with a green light, pulsing from where Lysithea's hands rest on the stone.

Then Lysithea begins to scream.

* * *

The first thing she felt was a rubbing sensation on her palm. It was dull, for some reason, but comforting none the less and for a moment it almost lulled her further into sleep. She sighs softly, a side effect of her relaxed state and the rubbing stops suddenly.

"Lysithea. Lysithea, are you awake?" She hears above her, very close above her. The masculine voice sounds familiar but certainly not that of her Father and she opens her eyes to see just who is watching her sleep. Her bleary vision is almost completely filled with that of her house leader, her fellow tactician, and her dearest companion, Claude. He's worried though. In a way… Lysithea slowly sifts through memories of their storied past, she has never seen before.

"Mmmnot a child, I'm up…" She grumbles, intentionally giving him ammunition to banter with. That should cheer him up. She was not expecting him to hug her. She returns the hug, more concerned with what had worried him so much than why she's feeling so sluggish. He leans back, careful not to let any of his weight lean on her.

"How are you feeling?" He says, one of the rare genuine smiles on his face.

"Al…right?" Lysithea says. She shifts up slightly, to better look at Claude. Things start to come back to her as she does. She closes her eyes, praying to Sothis she took her power back. "What… what happened Claude." She asks, waiting to hear the worst.

"Well… Teach now has three crests…" Claude says. He puts a hand on her shoulder, prompting her to look at his face. "And you have none. You're going to live Lysithea." He says. He even has the gall to wink as she pulls him into a hug of her own. She's quickly sobbing, and he shifts closer to hold her properly as she cries into his shoulder. He pats her white hair, saying nothing and yet everything in the way he holds her tight, like a child holds their favorite toy. Like she is the most precious thing in the world. And she in turn holds him like he's is her entire world.

They don't move for awhile. Simply communicating in small touches as Lysithea cries (not at all like a child) and Claude lets his tears roll down his face, past his smile, as he couldn't bear to release his embrace of Lysithea. Eventually they've both stopped, realizing they've simple been in each other's embrace because it feels right. Claude lightly pulls away, one arm still around her shoulder as he looks down at her lap.

"There's one thing Lysithea." He says, and Lysithea looks at him. He reaches for her hands and brings them up, drawing her eye to the backs of them. One each hand is a scarred form of her crests, the crest of Charon on the left and the crest of Gloucester on the right. They're large, dominating the entirely of her hands.

"…" Lysithea just looks at them. She looks at them for a long moment before laughing aloud, startling Claude. He's confused only for a moment before his smile returns.

"My future career options may not include being a handle model for Ignatz Claude but that is a small price to pay for a future at all" Lysithea says through her giggles.

"I guess Hilda's career is safe then!" Claude says jovially.

"It certainly is…" Lysithea says, taking another look at the crests. They were once such a source of fear for her. First during her time as a subject of the dark mage's experiments, then simply knowing they were tearing her body up from the inside all of her life. So many gave her praise and accolades for them and yet she couldn't bear the thought of them inside her. And now… they're permanently placed on the back of her hands and she couldn't be happier. Now the symbols of violation she feared are badges of triumph over the people who damaged her. Symbols of power she turned against it's masters, a charm against the fears she held.

"Claude… I had truly… truly given in. Even Edelgard's personal library hadn't born fruit on removing these crests. What you have done… You have literally given me my life." Lysithea says, taking his hand in her own. He looks away, but squeezes her hand tightly.

"It was a selfish endeavor, you know. I just…" He turns back around. "I couldn't imagine the rest of my own life without you in it."

"May the goddess forgive your selfishness then." Lysithea says, giggling slightly.

"I'll take divine punishment for that…" Claude says, his face suddenly serious. He steps back, only to come down on one knee by her bedside. "If she gives me her blessing in asking you to marry me."

Lysithea's hands, despite knowing he'd ask her again right from the start, cover her open mouth and she looks at the ring with the crest of house Riegan engraved in it. She looks up from it to Claude's face to see him anxious for but a moment before he gives her that goddess damned wink he's so fond of.

"You won't be making me a widower this time, so you'll need a new excuse." He says. She chokes up slightly, hearing the hitch of fear in Claude's own voice to even joke about her refusing him again.

"I would…" She starts, but has to gather her voice through somehow more tears and the uncontrollable smile, "love, to spend the entirety of life with you Claude."

She only has a moment to see the happiness flood his face before he jumps up to kiss her. Still, she's pretty sure she'll never forget that image for as long as she might live.


	2. The Heart of the Golden Deer House

“Is the princess waking up?” Is the first thing Lysithea hears as her eyes slowly focus. She feels the heavy weight of sleep start to recede from her body, feeling returning to her limbs slowly but surely. She’s under a blanket, not her own soft blankets from Ordelia but ones that are still familiar to her. She’s also wrapped in a strong arm, holding her close to a very warm chest. The memories come back to her, and she lifts her head from Claude’s chest to look up at him. He smiles, the real smile, not the one he plastered on his face all through the war, and she can’t help but return one of her own as her cheeks redden. “Hi,” he says quietly.

“… Hi.” Lysithea replies. She feels his arm loosen slightly, a sign she could untangle herself from him if she so chose. She only brings herself closer to his chest. “I guess we fell asleep?” She glances around the monastery infirmary. Manuela isn’t here, nor is Hannerman hovering by her bedside with questions. 

“We did; you were exhausted, and I couldn’t disentangle you from me by the time you passed out.” He pops his eyebrows with a little wink. “Not that I wanted to.” 

“Not that I wanted you to either,” Lysithea replies, looking into his chest to hide the red of her cheeks. 

“I did!” Manuela’s voice echoes through the room, along with the sound of the door opening. “That’s no way to get proper sleep, and you need it Lysithea!”

“I would say that was the best sleep I’ve had in years” Lysithea retorts, though she begins to lift herself from Claude. He scoots to the side of the bed, giving her the entire bed as she comes to a sitting position. He takes up a position leaning against the wall by the head of the bed as Manuela slides in-between the two infirmary beds to sit on the stool next to Lysithea’s. “Knowing that I’ll actually live a full life is the world's best sleep aid,” Lysithea smirks. “Claude is an added bonus.”

Claude opens his mouth to reply, mirth and mischief dancing in his eyes, but he’s cut off by an exaggerated hand motion from Manuela. “Yes yes, the engagement bliss is literally pouring off the two of you. You don’t have to remind me”. Lysithea winces sheepishly. Hearing no reply from Claude, she assumes he did the same as well. “Claude dear, can you fetch Hanneman? Judging by Lysithea’s color alone I’d say she can suffer a few more of his tests.” 

“Roger that Professor.” He replies, and with a cheeky smile, he kisses Lysithea’s forehead in full view of Manuela. I’ll be back in a flash love” he adds and saunters out of the room. Manuela turns to watch him leave, joining Lysithea in the act. 

“That boy.” Manuela sighs, a wisp of a laugh her tone. “One minute he’s the most brilliant man in Fodlan, and the next he’s a giddy schoolboy.” She places an instrument on Lysithea’s chest, checking the mage’s vitals. “I suppose it’s to be expected, he’s engaged to the girl he’s been head over heels for years.” Lysithea squeaks at that, jostling Manuela’s instruments and earning her a glare from the doctor. 

“Years? You knew for years?” 

“Oh darling, everyone from Garreg Mach knew. I’m surprised Hilda has any hair left, he drove her mad with how obvious he was about, and I quote, 'this one, singular, thing!’” Lysithea only replies with a meep. “Relax, it’s not that bad. Everyone will be all the happier to hear about the engagement, on top of your improved health.” Lysithea sighs, a smile coming to her face at the thought. All good things, that’s right. Everyone will focused on the future the two will have together and-

“They’ll save all the embarrassing crush stories for the wedding toasts.” Manuela’s smile is that of a saint, but her eyes hide only malice.

“Me? Embarrassed? You clearly don’t know me very well Manuela” Claude retorts as he returns to the room, saving Lysithea from the mental image. “Besides, I just have to give her the true story myself first, before someone like Sylvain goes and embellishes it to the nines!”

“Oh? I was looking forward to the tale of how you fought off the advances of lady Rhea herself in your steadfast loyalty to me” Lysithea grins wryly at her fiancee. She loves the way his face lifts at the challenge of wordplay, watches his eyes spark with his competitive spirit. 

“Hello Lysithea, how are you feeling after your much-needed rest?” Hanneman asks, entering behind Claude. He pouts, just for her, before winking and taking a place at her side again. He’s disappointed, she muses in the back of her head. 

“Physically, like I ran laps around Gronder Field. Mentally, more relaxed than I’ve ever been in my life.” Lysithea says honestly. Hanneman sits on the other side of the bed, opposite Manuela, and starts firing off questions as fast as Lysithea can answer them. A testament to her improving state, she can answer them all without difficulty, her mental clarity back to her normal. Unfortunately for her, Hanneman was long past questions about her health and well into questions about crestology. She wants to tell him to give her space, to let her enjoy her life without crests now that she finally got rid of them. Her cheek twinges, trying to keep a pleasant expression on her face until…

The door to the infirmary flies open, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Marianne is there, panting, sweat pooling on her forehead and her dress wrinkled from fast travel. 

“Marianne? What’s wrong?” Lysithea asks at once. Her hand clenches, noting Ignatz isn’t with Marianne. They were rarely seen apart after the wedding, and him not being here…

“Is it Ignatz?” Claude puts Lysithea’s fears to voice. His voice is calm, none of the bravado or joviality he usually masks his intellect with. Despite that, Lysithea can spot his fist clenched as well.

Marianne looks confused for a moment, trying to find words through her breathing. “No, Ignatz is… Ignatz is fine… What’s happened to you Lysithea? Professor Hannerman sent word you needed an experimental procedure and I flew out immediately, what’s…” 

Oh. Lysithea looks to Claude, but his sheepish smile mirrors her own. She had never… had never told Marianne, had she? Marianne was the Deer’s medic, and Lysithea trusted the other woman implicitly, but… Her crests were just a part of her, and her death was an inevitability at the time so… She left it out of medical check ups. Claude and the Professor only knew because Lysithea gave them tactical advice during the attack on Shambalah, as she knew what Those Who Slither in the Dark looked like and how they operated. 

Manuela cuts through the silence before anyone else speaks. “Oh dear. I believe this is an awkward conversation you kiddos will have to handle on your own.” Her hand reaches for Hannerman’s ear, grabbing it and pulling him towards the door. “Don’t you agree, Professor Hanneman?” She adds through a forced smile.

“Why um, Yes, of course but” is all Hannerman can get out before he’s dragged from the room and the former Golden deer are left to themselves. The awkward silence resumes as Lysithea fiddles with her blanket, Marianne catches the last of her breath, and Claude looks awkwardly between the two. 

“Please, tell me whats… going on” Marianne pleads. The guilt washes over Lysithea and she lifts her hands placatingly. 

“I’m okay Marianne! Manuela and Hanneman, Claude… even the Professor, they’ve all taken good care of me.” Lysithea says quickly. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“I… I see…” Marianne says. There’s a hitch in her voice but Lysithea can’t quite place what it’s from. She assumes worry, and continues.

“I… never told you, but I… most of my life I knew I’d have a shortened life span. I have…” she smiles inwardly for a moment, realizing she chose the wrong word, “had, two crests, and they were poisoning my body.” Lysithea backpedals as she watches Marianne’s face contort in horror. “Don’t worry! Claude found a cure, somehow! It’s where he’s been all this time!” 

Marianne’s gaze drifts to Claude, and he nods empathetically. Marianne’s face hitches again, in that way Lysithea can’t quite grasp at the moment.

Marianne’s voice is mouse quiet, reminiscent of her first days with the Deer. "I… understand now. I apologize Lysithea, I… didn’t mean to barge in and force you to tell me all of this.” Her gaze is locked on her own shoes. 

Lysithea raises an eyebrow, confusion contorting her features. “Marianne, what…?” Before she can question further Marianne is out the door with a muffled “I apologize” over her shoulder.

“Shit” Claude mutters and he pushes off from the wall. He hesitates a moment, looking back at her. Lysithea flicks her head in the direction of the door and he doesn’t even wait for her to say ‘go’ before he follows after the retreating Marianne, leaving Lysithea alone in the infirmary. 

* * *

Lysithea pulls at a fray in the blanket, attempting to stare a hole through the door and see where in the Goddess’s name Claude and Marianne were. She had half a mind to extract herself from her bed to go after Marianne herself, though her body protested greatly to even just the thought of standing. Marianne was her medic, her friend… It’s Lysithea who should be apologizing, for not telling Marianne about her condition long before now. Not knowing if and why Marianne is upset eats her up inside, making fifteen minutes feel like fifteen hours until finally, Claude returns. Marianne doesn’t follow him into the room, and when Lysithea searches his eyes for an answer he only shakes his head dejectedly. 

“I couldn’t find her, I’m sorry Lyssi” He sits in the chair Manuela had set up, right next to Lysithea. He takes her hands in his. 

“What… what upset her so?” Lysithea sighs more than speaks. 

Claude looks aside, towards the door. “She… Teach tells me Marianne’s stake in life was the Golden Deer. That we were everything to her, and she needed us as much as we needed her.” Lysithea isn’t sure what Byleth’s words are supposed to mean. Claude must have read that thought from her expression because he adds “I never quite got it either.”

“But if…” Lysithea’s mind whirs in the fading sunset light. “Oh Claude, she thinks we don’t need her.” It clicks for Claude as well, as soon as she says it. “This is all my fault, I should have confided in her years ago about this, I was just such a stubborn fool about keeping it secret during the war and-“

“Lysithea, relax, it’s going to be fine” Claude’s voice feels slightly distant as her mind races. His thumb, running over the back of her palm is grounding. She closes her eyes for a moment, only feeling his calloused thumb brush the scars she now bore on the back of each hand, each a reminder of one of her former crests, with a gentleness completely contrary to the rough callouses. The scars are a little sore to the touch, almost raw feeling, but it somehow brings her focus. 

“Thank you.” She says quietly. She feels a peck on her cheek. She opens her eyes to give Claude a sidelong stare, only to be met with a smile she could be lost in forever. Claude’s true smile, the one that does reach his eyes… it’s a powerful addiction. 

“For you, anything.” He says simply. Her face is probably red. She looks down at their entwined hands. 

“But for now, Marianne. I can’t let her think the way she’s thinking for a moment longer than I have to” she says. She swings her legs around the bed with an audible grunt letting them dangle over the side.

“Princess, I don’t think you’re in any condition to go chasing after anyone” Claude replies quickly, his hands coming up to her shoulders to push her back to bed.

“You know what I’m going to say, don’t you?” Her glare freezes Claude’s arms mid-motion. He looks at her for only a moment before lowering them, a sheepish smile rising in their place. 

“Don’t treat you like a child, right. I should know there’s no stopping you from what you want” He shrugs. “Might I at least carry my fiancee,” he emphasizes the word as if she didn’t know it was entirely different than child, “on her quest?” 

“That… That you may” Lysithea gives and Claude presses a kiss to her forehead. She’d like to walk out on her own… But she was intimately familiar with her body’s weaknesses and this was still the worst case of exhaustion she could remember. Claude stands, turning around and lifting Lysithea by her legs. She wraps her arms around his neck and he makes for the door, grabbing a short cane as he does. 

“Where to my love?”

“I… have an idea."

* * *

Lysithea steps shakily out onto the roof over the stables. She told Claude to hang behind, that this was her conversation to have and she wouldn’t have him winking and smiling his way into it. She leans heavily on the cane they took from Manuela’s office, grasping the pole as if her life depended on it. Her footsteps are clumsy and at an odd shuffle. It’s no surprise then, that Marianne turns around as soon Lysithea is in view. The medic is shocked only for a moment before she makes to stand and help. Lysithea waves a hand for her to wait, slowly making her way over to the other mage. 

Marianne’s face freezes for a moment, and she looks away from Lysithea. She turns back to looking over the grounds of Garreg Mach slowly, her shoulders collapsing in on themselves. Lysithea wants to smack herself. She added more fuel to the fire just now, didn’t she? Biting her lip she moves next to Marianne on the edge of the roof. She slowly lowers herself down to sit beside Marianne. A part of her mind notes to herself she won’t be getting up with Marianne’s help, and she winces at that. She clears her mind with a deep breath, sighing aloud. Marianne says nothing, and Lysithea doesn’t look to the other girl. They both stare out of Garreg Mach.

“My hair wasn’t always this color” Lysithea starts. Marianne doesn’t move, her hands in her lap clenching her dress, shoulders withdrawn… “When I was a young girl, some mages came to Ordelia territory, during the occupation by the Empire.” Lysithea begins to wring her own hands together. “They took the children of house Ordelia and did… terrible, blood experiments on them. On us.” 

Marianne turns to look at Lysithea, completely on reflex. Her many years of caring for the health of the Golden Deer take over and she unconsciously starts thinking about ways to make it better. Lysithea doesn’t look to Marianne though, her gaze is locked far way, beyond Garreg Mach’s walls. 

“It was… excruciating, and terrifying. I still get nightmares, despite being so young when it happened. Everyone they experimented on died… except for me. They were successful, to a degree, in their twist experiments on me alone.” Lysithea face rises into a snarl, but for a moment. Her disgust radiates from her. “I was given a second crest, and told I’d die young because of it. My hair became this color, and my body was eternally weak. Not long after, the mages left. They left me, broken and changed, and my family stripped down to my parents and myself.”

Lysithea breathes heavily. It’s such an old story and yet it still hurts to tell. The logical part of her mind told her to stay in control, to not get emotional now. She still had so much to say to Marianne and she couldn’t snap at her by accident, not for something she had nothing to do with. She feels a brush on her hand and jumps, looking wildly towards Marianne. The other woman had put her hand on Lysithea’s own, and Lysithea’s surprise seemed to have scared her. Just what Lysithea didn’t want to do. Marianne makes to pull her hand back, but Lysithea places her other hand over Marianne’s. 

“Thank you, Marianne. Sorry to startle you.” Marianne seems at least somewhat relieved, so Lysithea returns her gaze to the horizon. “I’ve lived my whole life knowing that I’d die at a young age. It’s what drove me to succeed, first in the Academy, then in the war. I knew that if I tried my damnedest to make this power my own, and do good with it, I could ensure my parents could live out their days peacefully and… my life would have had some meaning.” 

“Lysithea, I…” Marianne pauses, her urge to comfort her friend causing her to speak before she had words to say. 

“Hold on, Marianne” Lysithea gives a small smile to the other girl. “I told no one about this, at first. A few people, like Linhardt, found out on their own; he always was an inquisitive bastard. I never intend anyone to know what happened, I didn’t want their pity and knew there was nothing they could do. My death was inevitable, so I didn’t want to burden anyone with knowing it was coming. I was going to live my life to the fullest and die knowing it, and that was… okay for me.” Lysithea turns to Marianne, finally looking the other girl in the eye. Marianne’s face is wet from a few silent tears. 

“That is the reason I didn’t tell you. If there was anything I had discovered to try, I would have come to you. You’re the only healer I’d trust with that.” Marianne smiles, finally, a small choked smile that comes from kindness one didn’t expect. Lysithea returns it, squeezing Marianne’s hand. It’s a moment Lysithea would remember for decades, (goddess, she had decades now!) given how rare Marianne’s smiles were.

Marianne’s eyes fall to Lysithea’s hands, seeing the scars of her former crests. Her smile fades. She looks back to Lysithea. “A long time ago… You said you had your own “deep seated turmoil”…”

“This was it, yes. I’m… surprised you remember that.” 

“That conversation… It meant a lot to me so I…” Marianne takes her hands back into her own lap. Lysithea watches Marianne mirror her own actions from earlier, taking a deep, stabilizing breath. 

“You had told me… each time we find the light in the dark, we grow, just a little bit. I had no idea what you meant by light in the dark but… I started looking. If only to not upset you again.” Lysithea suppresses a nervous cough. “Eventually… I found what those lights were, to me.” Marianne turns to her, her eyes wide and sparkling, living up to the description windows to the soul. “It was all of us, in the Golden Deer. Each one of you accepted me, the monster that I… thought I was, and cared about me despite what I felt about myself. I knew… as long as I had everyone I could make it through. Keep growing.” 

“Oh, Marianne…” Lysithea breathes. Her thoughts are a jumble, joy and somehow sorrow and other emotions clouding her mind.

“I dedicated myself to all of you, through the war. If I could keep you all alive and well, I’d have fulfilled my role to you. I could give back some of the kindness you’ve offered, me, all these years. I realize…” she looks towards the stable grounds again. “That might be a little extreme. I’ve found other definitions of the light in the dark, but I, um…” She fumbles over her thoughts.

“That’s why you were so worried?” Lysithea offers.

“Y-yes! I can’t let anything happen to you, to Claude, to Raphael or Ignatz or Hilda, Leonie, Lorenz!” Marianne clenches at her skirts. Lysithea reaches a hand over to wrap around Marianne’s.

“We all have some shade of those feelings, I think.” Lysithea almost muses. The different tone distracts Marianne from her spiraling thoughts. “That same feeling, to some degree, drove me to study more powerful spells, despite my constitution. I know Claude had contingencies in his schemes to ensure our survival if things went sideways.”

“R… really?” 

“Oh yes. I got a hold of a few of them, when they relied on my warp spells.” She flashes a cheeky grin. “Most of them involved slingshotting people to you, in fact!” Marianne’s shocked at the mental image before she giggles. It brings a smile to Lysithea’s face, and she looks back out over Garreg Mach. 

“So I understand why you were upset before. I don’t think you have any reason to be sorry,” Lysithea side-eyes Marianne with a pout she hadn’t worn since her academy days, hair whipping into her face, “though you’ll deny that in a heart beat,” Marianne blinks awkwardly. “And it’s really me who should be apologizing. I just… didn’t want people to hear all about my crests and their issues. To define me by them.” 

“With my crest the way it is… I understand that.” Marianne says quietly. Even after the Deer dealt with the Demonic Beast propagating the so-called curse on Marianne’s blood, the healer was reluctant to talk about the crest. Lysithea doesn’t push her.

“Are we good then, Marianne?”

“O-oh, yes of course Lysithea. We were good from the-“ Lysithea silences her with a patented scowl, quickly rolled into an exasperated smile. 

“No, I upset you, Marianne. This was an apology if you recall, one I hope you’ll accept.” 

It takes a prompt from Lysithea’s quirked brow but Marianne finally nods in agreement. 

“Wonderful!” Lysithea says, stretching her arms in the air. “Now that I have my expert healer back, I will need help getting up, as I have completely overexerted myself getting here!” Lysithea laughs as Marianne’s face warps into that of a mother hen, letting her friend shuffle to her feet 

to get Lysithea back to her room in the Infirmary.

* * *

As soon as they returned to the infirmary, Marianne began a proper check up for Lysithea. Claude lingers, sitting on the other bed, as they catch Marianne up on the events of the day before. At some point it became more about the engagement than the procedure Byleth performed.

“She said she would love to spend the entirety of her life with me Marianne, it was quite literally the best moment of my life” Claude gushes. He’s overdoing it of course, Lysithea can tell. She’s blushing too hard to call him out on it and he knows it, the bastard. 

“It’s a wonderful picture. I’m sure Ignatz would love to paint the moment if you’d let him” Marianne replies, not looking up from Lysithea’s hands. She’d been looking at the crest scars carefully for awhile now.

“I’d love a portrait of the moment…” Claude’s tone sombers a bit. “Though maybe I should ask him for a picture of Lysithea on Sothis’s throne as well.” 

Lysithea looks up. “Why’s that?” 

“That was… the moment you were saved. That gave your your life back. I already owe Teach my life so many times over, but what she did there… That’s a debt I can never repay.” His eyes are focused on her own, piercing as if they were trying to memorize her face. At least until he winks. “And well, you’re fit for a throne my dear.” Lysithea flushes again. 

“I’m sure he’d love the opportunity, Claude.” Marianne chimes in. “We’ve been busy getting the estate in order but he has been talking about spending some time here at Garreg Mach to do some new pieces for the Professor.” She releases Lysithea’s hands. “As far as I can tell, these are normal scars Lysithea. They won’t heal, but they’re not going to cause any further issues to your health.”

“That’s wonderful…” Lysithea sighs. Marianne looks at her quizzically for a moment. “Oh, it’s… I may have suffered, having my crests, but they also let me save so many people during the war, and protect our fellows in the Deer,” Lysithea and Marianne share a look that Claude can’t decipher. “So I see these as sort of… badge of honor?”

“I think that’s a good way of looking at it, Lysithea” Marianne says in her soft voice. Lysithea feels warmth bubble up inside her. Something about having Marianne on her side… by her side… Things were right in the world again. 

It lasted about another 30 seconds. “Lysithea, are you awake?” Hanneman says as he enters the infirmary. “Ah, Marianne. I’m glad to see you’ve looked over Lysithea. What is your diagnosis?”

“Clean bill of health, after a few weeks bed rest.” Marianne replies. 

“Excellent, well, that leaves one thing left to review! Magic!” Hanneman claps his hands. Lysithea thinks he keeps talking but her mind doesn’t process it as her hand clench the sheets.

The next thing she does process is a door closing, and a hand on her shoulder. Claude’s hand. “Lysithea? Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“I-I… um…” Lysithea blinks, releasing Marianne and Claude must have had Hannerman step out. Marianne is standing at the end of the bed, concern all over her face. Claude is right beside her. “I… must admit. I’m… not sure I’m ready to know if the procedure removed my magical ability.”

“Do you want to wait?” Claude looks right at her, letting her looking his eyes. She remembers telling him once that his eyes were the most honest part of him. She wonders if that’s why he’s letting her see them clearly right now. He’s worried.

“I… don’t know. I don’t think the waiting will be pleasant either. Too much time to think about possible scenarios.” 

“Still, you did just wake up today…” They stop talking, both thinking deeply. 

“Lysithea.” Marianne says, her voice ringing the two out of their thoughts. “Um. I think… You won’t know until you try. Isn’t that right?” Marianne’s eyes flicker this way and that, barely able to meet Lysithea’s own widening eyes. It’s a moment, one Marianne assumes she made a huge mistake in, before Lysithea belts out laughing. She winces, the laughing aggravating her body though it doesn’t break her smile. 

“You know, I never thought you’d be the one to tell me that! You’re absolutely Marianne, I suppose… I suppose I must practice what I preach.” Lysithea wipes a tear from her eye, unsure if it’s from the soreness in her side or her laughter. “Claude, can you fetch the Professor?” 

Claude, for his part, just looks back and forth between the two. He finally shrugs, nodding to Lysithea while also conveying he very much wants an explanation later. He heads out of the room, and Lysithea reaches for Marianne’s hand. The blunette still seems frazzled, never the type to say something so blunt. Or, in other words, Lysithea’s own words.

“Thank you, Marianne. You really do remember a lot of our old conversations, don’t you?”

Marianne finally seems to relax at the touch. “I… yes, of course. You’re one of my precious friends Lysithea. I wouldn’t be here without all of you.”

“I, maybe even all of us, don’t give you enough credit Marianne. You might just be the heart of our whole house, always listening and ready to care for us at a moment’s notice.”

“I’m not-“ 

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Lysithea winks, and the door opens to allow Hannerman and Claude back into the room. 

Lysithea takes the test with one hand in Claude's, and Marianne’s hand on her shoulder. The spell goes off, and it’s a single painful moment of silence before Hannerman summarizes she’ll need to build up her circuits again slowly, like an injured muscle, but a large portion of her prior power will continue to be available to her. 

Lysithea would later say it was a ‘foregone conclusions that her magical aptitude would be unaffected’ and that she ‘wasn’t worried in the slightest’. Claude and Marianne share a look every time she does, but never correct her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not intending to have a direct sequel to Entirety of my Life, just the loosely related stories in the Golden Dear collection. Then at some point I had the thought of how would Marianne react to Lysithea having the procedure done so quickly... And we have another one. Part of me wants to do a chapter for each of the deer members, but I need to finish another golden deer playthrough for inspiration first!
> 
> Lysithea, after a year or two of magic strengthing exercises, will get to around 60% of her peak war potential. Given this is Lysithea, it puts her on par with the best mages in Fodlan, and she's satisfied with that.

**Author's Note:**

> I love these two as a sort of power couple and I felt inspired. I've played far too many hours of three houses already and love the Golden Deer more than myself. :dab:
> 
> I know Fire Emblem shipping is a crap shoot, but I just wanted to contribute something for the power couple I have in my head. I wanna write them more, if I can manage to get their voices down pat. ~~Or I should just write it anyway, quality isn't actually required for shipping drabble XD~~


End file.
